A good friend recently used this metaphor from Don Quixote
to describe his and my lifetime efforts to make a difference through
international development work. There is
some self-effacing humour in it, a dose of reality, and a deep reminder of
where we should put our trust (and not put it).
Why am I
discouraged? Why am I restless?
I trust you! And I will praise you again
Because you help me,
and you are my God.
These lines are repeated twice in Psalm 42 and again in
Psalm 43. They capture the mood swings
that C4L leaders are going through as we await recovery.
In April, the C4L bulletin was called Glimmers of
Recovery. Certainly we had received
3 major “letters of appointment” that month, all from government, but 3 months later
we are still waiting… Promises,
promises!
Then in May the C4L bulletin was called Putting it Back
– encouraging individuals, families and churches to do their part too, in terms
of contributing to charity. The truth is
that half of 2012 has passed, and so far it’s only the self-generated income
and those charitable donations that have fueled C4L. Not one Rand yet from government! It makes me wonder if these higher levels of
funding that we strived for as the year started are worth the wait? Are we really tilting at windmills?
The logic seemed sound – get C4L accredited which I started
working on immediately upon my return from South Sudan. That finally came through in January
2012. Then play for the higher stakes in
terms of Learnerships – we competed in several tender bids, and won two in
April. On paper! (Another bid submitted in February is still
being processed.)
You are my mighty
rock. Why have you forgotten me?
Why must enemies
mistreat me and make me sad?
Even my bones are in
pain
While all day long my
enemies sneer and ask,
“Where is your God?”
I remember once laying in a stream in Yellowstone Park. The scalding water on one side flowed out of
a hot spring. The other side of the
creek was icy water flowing off a glacier.
It was amazing, you couldn’t stay on either side - you could only lie in
the middle of the creek bed where the hot and cold waters mingled a bit. I resonate with Psalm 42: 9 & 10 (above)
on this. C4L is get scalded by unfavourable
conditions and at the same time frozen out by bureaucracy. Did we take a wrong turn?
Show me that I am
right, God!
Defend me against everyone
who doesn’t know you;
Rescue me from each of
those deceitful liars.
I run to you for
protection.
Why have you turned me
away?
Why must enemies
mistreat me and make me sad?
I second the emotion of Psalm 43:1 & 2. I need reassurance that we were on the right
track to take C4L up to the next level.
But it doesn’t come. Just more
delays.
Government steps to the beat of its own drum. We submitted two tender bids on November 15th. If we had been 8 minutes late, past the 11
a.m. deadline, we would have been disqualified.
We thought it might take 8 weeks to get an answer. It took 5 months – to get a letter of
appointment. Now 8 months have passed
and we are still waiting.
Why am I
discouraged? Why am I restless?
I trust you! And I will praise you again
Because you help me,
and you are my God.
We were approached to co-host the Community Work Programme
in our province. I had already written a
lot about youth unemployment before being invited into this Joint Venture. Some one said recently that youth
unemployment has become “the new AIDS” – meaning that it has replaced AIDS as
the primary social evil of 2012. So we
rose to the challenge.
But the way that government works and the way that NGOs work
are not in sync. Government sees our Joint
Venture as a “contractor” and expects it to pour in money that we don’t have to
get the job done. To them, it’s a
pay-later plan! This is causing havoc
because the NGO that approached us to co-host the CWP with them had understood
that government would award grants, or at least monthly reimbursements. At this stage, 3 months have gone by without
any drawdown from government. This is
double-jeopardy for C4L – short on reserves and being expected to front finance
for the roll out of a government programme!
That one certainly qualifies as tilting with windmills!
Now here we go with another windmill – the Jobs Fund. We have been shortlisted, and we now are
formulating the full project proposal.
It’s always exciting to look ahead, to imagine, to envision, to foresee…
but are we back in that Don Quixote-esque syndrome of expecting government to
behave differently on this one? Einstein
said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a
different result.
Wake up! Do something, Lord!
Why are you
sleeping? Don’t desert us forever.
Why do you keep
looking away?
Don’t forget our
sufferings and all of our troubles.
We are flat on the
ground, holding on to the dust.
Do something! Help us!
Show how kind you are
And come to our
rescue!
The double-entendre is intended when I say that C4L is on
its knees. But I am encouraged to know, as
I read Psalm 44::23 – 26 (above), that it is déjà vu. So…
Why am I
discouraged? Why am I restless?
I trust you! And I will praise you again
Because you help me,
and you are my God.
No comments:
Post a Comment